To the women…

To the women on this forum, I have this little advice for you….

This is the very first time of me directing a post to a particular gender on this forum but i just have to as I need to obey my koko spirit rather than worrying about who will stop reading from here ….


I was once a very arrogant person BUT never knew that I was until I had a serious encounter with my maker and seriously, my life has not been the same since.

I was NEVER ARROGANT in my marriage BUT my naivety made me to behave irrationally few times in which eventually caused me many pains that I am nursing today.

Unfortunately, the way many African women are brought up made them to become arrogant slightly even when they mean well but honestly, reading from this page everyday, it is so disheartening and disappointing to read or guess what an individual will be outside of here …. Your bad experiences should not be allowed to remould you to become ugly in nature. Continue reading To the women…

I dont know his family….

Aunty Abefe good morning, please on behalf of my sister she need your advice, she met this guy when she was abroad. They started dating not upto 5month and she got pregnant, but the guy refused to take the pregnancy at first but later he accept it but the guy refuse to introduce my sister to his family,

so when the pregnancy was 8month my sister came to nigeria so she gave birth in nigeria and still the guy didn’t introduce my sister to his family. he came for the naming ceremony with some of his friends but non of his family member was there. after naming he stopped coming to our house and after a month he travelled back .but the most surprising thing was that my sister got to know the guy did wedding with another lady when her pregnancy was 9month. Since then my sister was down she has been thinking and her baby is now 5month old and till now the guy didn’t give my sister money for the child upkeep and all he keeps doing is begging my sister that he will marry her too and till date she doesn’t know any of his family . please she needs your advise

Plan B

When you make your options too open or have plan B, you will eventually get it wrong and won’t give adequate and necessary commitment to what could be your best option….

The lesser your options when it comes to having a successful relationship, the chances of you having a successful relationship…..

Our wedding is near….

From my inbox…. Our wedding is near….

Hello ma, I do read write-ups here but never imagine myself writing about my own situation for people’s advice. If you won’t mind, I will prefer your personal advice alone but if need be, u can share on your forum but as an anonymous. I presently reside in away from Nigeria and work as an educator here…..looking forward to starting a Phd course in Chemistry here also but wish to marry 1st before starting the program. Marry and bring my fiancee of 3years and bring over here from Nigeria. The whole problem started with our wedding and the ceremony attached to it. My fiancee had a 5yrs daughter for another man already (before I met her and she never hid it from me), I love her unconditionally, but upon starting the wedding things, I want a quiet wedding, her relative agrees but makes plan for 500 – 800 guests, I don’t mind. Continue reading Our wedding is near….

My dad is sick, he ignored him…

From my inbox…. My dad….please aunty Abefe. I need you and the koko members of the house to shed me more light more to my confusion.

My dad had a fatal accident last month ago which I told my so called husband to be, but to my surprise he didn’t make mention of it to ask how is my dad’s health nor talk of how to come visit him. Does this means he is scared of my dad or what, because I don’t understand him….Thanks ma

Is he under any obligation?

A lady moved in with her boyfriend of 6months; she was not working when she moved in but two months after she got a part time job and started earning.

She doesn’t know how much her boyfriend earns in salary and he has never ASKED her to contribute to household expenses. Six months into her job, she needed give her siblings some money for their upkeep but she didn’t have enough and she’s confused on whether to ask her boyfriend for it or not. She is also a full time student.

The question is this:
1. Should she ask him?
2. Is he under any obligation to assist?

Should I tell him?

From my inbox…………….. Should I tell him?

Sister Abefe, I believe i can share this with you and you will be able to advice me on what do do next. I met my boyfriend about 18months ago, his wife and kids are living abroad so he told me that he only want a companion in which was ok for me as well as i dont have time for commitment due to my career. But the problem now is. i am pregnant. I am not here to set him up or anything as i am on contraceptive and how this happened is beyond me. My dilema now is, should i tell him about the pregnancy or not? I dont intend to have an abortion has i have somehow come to terms with the pregnancy and i have decided to carry it as my cross but something inside of me is unsure about whether to make him aware of it or not. I dont care about him not looking after the child but I just want to know if i should make him aware of my intentions. Please i need to candid opinion on this matter. Thank you ma