How can I forgive?

How can I forgive?

Sister Abefe, I have been with my fiance for three years, we are yet to go to Nigeria for our traditional wedding due to his papers. The problem now is, I have just found out that his babymother is pregnant for him again. He has been begging me that it was a mistake, sister Abefe, do you really think it was a mistake and do you think there is any future in the relationship for me? We have been living together now for two years and engaged to be married, I am confused, please help me.

I am confused

Sister Abefe, kindly explain the meaning of love at first sight.

I met a guy couple of months ago and I can’t get him out of my mind. We talked at length everyday and we have become inseparable since we met. We have not had any sexual intercourse nor has he made any sexual passes towards me but we can’t keep our eyes off one another. Would you say this is love at first sight?



To be procrastinating is a dangerous habit, its a personal tool to indefinite destruction. It is a time ticking bomb that when it decides to blow up, it will be when you least expect it.

This week I was faced with issues that I had procrastinated for months and few for years. My brain and heart went into a panic mode. I lost my mental, physical and emotional strength and stability. They were issues that would have taken me less than few phone calls, few hours of letter writing and some discipline for few weeks or maximum two months, but yeah, I procrastinated them all, and this week, day after day, hour after hour, they all haunted me like ghosts and as if I had committed a crime. And to make matters worse, drink poured of my phones, lost my cardigan and my bank card, thank God for the good samaritan, who left it at the bus stop where I got on looool…. Hhhmmmm another unexpected disaster.

What is the koko of this post?

If not for the wisdom i have gathered over the years, I would have had this horrible feelings that my family’s past/curse was haunting me or some evil people were the cause and knowing me years ago, I would have called God knows how many pastors, alfas, prophets and herbalists to find out why everything happened. But to God be the glory, I accepted my nonsense behaviour, learnt from them and started making necessary corrections. Knowing fully well that the consequences now would be greater because i will need to pay higher penalties.

What am saying to you is this, what is required of you today is what is required of you, leaving it till tomorrow means, you are accumulating more pain and work load for yourself tomorrow. These are easily done but when the consequences start to rain in with thunder storms, YOU WILL ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME.

Procrastination is a deadly disease that works like high blood pressure. It stops you from doing the necessities whilst concentrating on things that won’t elevate or improve your well-being or your life.

You have things to do, you are on facebook for hours, you have assignments to write, you are watching TV. You have people to call to resolve important matters, you are jisting with your friend that wont run away. You have places in your house to clean, you are busy arguing over nonsense issues. You have issues in your relationship/marriage, you are busy telling others about it when you suppose to be talking it out with your spouse and embarking on doing things to make it work. Hhhmmmm


Start making hays whilst the sun is still shining…. It’s your life, you will be the one to pick up the pieces.

It’s all about self discipline, START disciplining yourself if truly you want to grow in wisdom and become successful…

Procrastination is cancerous.


Pass and Fail with Success…

Part of success is to lose & fail at some point. If you are yet to fail, then you are yet to have a full success story as failure will direct you to greater height and it will place you in a position of wisdom to become an inspiration to others.

Failing is not the end of the world, it’s always the beginning of a greater thing – if you are able to pick yourself up again.

Anger, Bitterness and Cancer

Bitterness, anger, aggression, hatred and jealousy are other forms of cancer and they do eventually do turn to real life diagnosed CANCERS.

Release those you hate, detach yourself from bitterness, enjoy what you have and appreciate those who are living better than you.

Dont kill yourself over someone you can’t fanthom why he or she is always happy, don’t become sad over someone that’s getting on with his or her life, don’t make a big deal out of things that don’t really matter and most importantly, don’t allow yourself to be used by those who are not after peace. Segregate yourself from backbiters, bitterness carriers, bad news feeders and negative livers …. YOU DON’T NEED THEM AROUND YOU NOR IN YOUR LIFE.

Don’t cause Cancer to start growing in you if you can avoid it.

As unrecognized as stress is, it has been linked to many forms cancer, and things that causes stress range from jealousy, anger, bitterness, greed, selfishness, hatred etc.

Save your life, love your soul.


Wrong People

The price you pay for being friends with wrong people or dating the wrong person is too much of consequences to face – you are far better off being on your own until God bring your way that lovely man/woman or friend that will be a soul mate…..

Too much danger in having wicked, gullible, greedy and self centered friends or partner….

Spend more time with God (doesn’t mean at church or mosque, ON YOUR OWN, ALONE) and YOURSELF instead….



History will continue to repeat itself in your life, in your family and around you for as long as you (we) are not ready to learn from past errors.

World war2 happened not long after World War 1 ended because they didnt learn from the past. Point proving don’t change history, it makes things worse.

Destruction is inevitable in a society where people are not prepared to learn and put into action POSITIVE and CONSTRUCTIVE plans and ATTITUDES that everyone will benefit from.

So called curses are not as a result of failures, they are as a result of SELFISH behaviour that people refuses to change…..

Don’t let us allow history to keep on repeating itself in our lives, BE THE CHANGE THAT IS NEEDED IN YOUR FAMILY…..

Be a better person to the next person for a better and greater society and home.


Intelligent and Relationship

Intelligent and relationship.

Before you argue what is sensible with anyone, make sure their level of intelligent is as high as yours, or else you will become an ignorant or nuisance during the discussion.

People set in their ways are the most difficult people to marry or date so choose your spouse also based on their level of intelligent or else you will not enjoy such union.

Education is brilliant, experience is fabulous and riches is wonderful but if you have all these and you are lacking an inch of common sense, God given HOLY SPIRIT and wisdom, most times you will be talking out of your ass instead of your mouth.

Get wisdom, acquire godly understanding and most importantly, DONT LIVE ACCORDING TO THE NORMS OF THIS WORLD.

You want a peaceful marriage/relationship ensure that your spouse has got the intelligent and wisdom to apply plain common sense. Many unions are breaking down today as a result of lack of WISDOM and intelligent.

Remember, a spouse that is willing to learn godly things is better than a spouse that believe he or she have seen it all.