How can I forgive?

How can I forgive?

Sister Abefe, I have been with my fiance for three years, we are yet to go to Nigeria for our traditional wedding due to his papers. The problem now is, I have just found out that his babymother is pregnant for him again. He has been begging me that it was a mistake, sister Abefe, do you really think it was a mistake and do you think there is any future in the relationship for me? We have been living together now for two years and engaged to be married, I am confused, please help me.

One thought on “How can I forgive?”

  1. To the inboxer of the last post……. How can i forgive?

    Dear inboxer, i must say i am not required to point out a thing with the amount of brilliant advice you have received from people, but my koko spirit pointed out something that was missed out by all that gave you advice, and i must say that is down to personal experience.

    Yes you need to walk away from that relationship but before you do, you need to figure out what has kept you there all this while and i will use my personal experience as an example.

    I knew i was meant to leave my relationship with my ex husband before we got married even when i found out two weeks before our wedding that the babymama had given birth to their second child and pregnant with the third and this was the man i believed we were inseparable. Of course few years before i found that, we broke up for couple of weeks because i found out that he was seeing his baby mother but he came back begging when the babymother burnt all his property and lo and behold, I of course took him back.

    Why? because i had so many unfinished emotional troubles in the relationship and my life and as a result of those emotional troubles, i decided to stay put and here they are:
    1. Some months into our relationship (at the beinging) I got pregnant and had an abortion in which caused me to bleed everyday for one year and i was unable to conceive for 5years and when his mother heard about what the son did she said “well my son has been sleeping with you all these while and no child to show for it”. this time it was too late for me to say i had an abortion for her son
    2. I had a very rough childhood so having him in my life was like a security to me. He is quiet older than me so i used to see him as a father figure, therefore the fear of losing that comfort killed me mentally.
    3. I met him just after my horrific car accident and dating a fine boy to me at the time was “waooo”, as i had no self esteem or confidence in myself, couldnt see in one eye and had scars on my face with artificial teeth.

    All these caused me to remian with him desipte knowning fully well that the relationship wont go anywhere. On our wedding day, i refused to go for it because my koko spirit told me he would eventually leave me and yes he did leave when our second child was just three months old.

    What is the koko of this epistle, IF YOU DONT DEAL WITH ALL THE EMOTIONAL PAINS AND CONFUSION THAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK TO THIS MAN, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL ACCEPT HIS APOLOGY AND GO BACK TO HIM AND HE WILL EVENTUALLY LEAVE YOU.

    Emotional backlog is a demon many women find extremely difficult to combat and the earlier you deal with it the sooner you stop being a slave to any man and friends and women and family.

    Psychological trauma cannot be seen by anyone but those that has experienced it and that is why i am loaning you this token, leaving him is not a problem but WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM? WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT LED YOU TO DATING HIM IN THE FIRST INSTANCE AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR FEARS ARE? Answers to these questions will make the advice you have been given useful and remarkable in your life and it is only you that can answer them.

    Good luck……

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