Category Archives: From my inbox

Moving in

Sister Abefe, my girlfriend has got few financial and accommodation issues at the moment and i feel like asking her to come and manage with me for the time being, however I dont want her to feel too comfortable that she would think she’s already my wife or we have become a couple. We have been dating for about 2years and believe doing this for her shouldn’t be a problem but I am worried about her thinking or concluding too far ahead. How do I go about it please?

How can I forgive?

How can I forgive?

Sister Abefe, I have been with my fiance for three years, we are yet to go to Nigeria for our traditional wedding due to his papers. The problem now is, I have just found out that his babymother is pregnant for him again. He has been begging me that it was a mistake, sister Abefe, do you really think it was a mistake and do you think there is any future in the relationship for me? We have been living together now for two years and engaged to be married, I am confused, please help me.

I am confused

Sister Abefe, kindly explain the meaning of love at first sight.

I met a guy couple of months ago and I can’t get him out of my mind. We talked at length everyday and we have become inseparable since we met. We have not had any sexual intercourse nor has he made any sexual passes towards me but we can’t keep our eyes off one another. Would you say this is love at first sight?


History will continue to repeat itself in your life, in your family and around you for as long as you (we) are not ready to learn from past errors.

World war2 happened not long after World War 1 ended because they didnt learn from the past. Point proving don’t change history, it makes things worse.

Destruction is inevitable in a society where people are not prepared to learn and put into action POSITIVE and CONSTRUCTIVE plans and ATTITUDES that everyone will benefit from.

So called curses are not as a result of failures, they are as a result of SELFISH behaviour that people refuses to change…..

Don’t let us allow history to keep on repeating itself in our lives, BE THE CHANGE THAT IS NEEDED IN YOUR FAMILY…..

Be a better person to the next person for a better and greater society and home.


My two months marriage

From my inbox …. My two months marriage

Aunty mi Abefe uhmmmmm I don’t know where to start from. I am a lady of 33years old and am a American Citizen I ve been in America for 6years now and  I just got married not upto two months but the moment we got married my husband that used to be caring and so doting I mean so doting changed towards me treating me so bad he stopped calling me like he used too .before I forget he leaves in london and I have been there to see him four times and the shortest time I have spent with him in london is 1mnth he has been in london for 12 years with no paper and when I met him he did not ve anything no job no house but I still stick with him because I love him so much and before we did our marriage back home without us being there we had plans of me filing for him (note he did not marry me for his papers, koko pls don’t ask if am sure cos am 100% sure he is a very honest person he never hides anything from me and I know he loves me) but all of a sudden he changed towards me saying I treated him bad because I never open up to him the way he did with me of which he has password to my Facebook he knows my movement here the only thing I kept away from him is when I use my gold to borrow money  and I co signed for my brother when he had problem with his black American wife and he needed a car to get to work and I did not tell him because I know he would be mad at me that’s why I did not tell him but he took it the wrong way and he has been so indifferent to me that I have fasted and prayed even begged him but he refused to change and now he has refused to join me in the state saying if it is for him to get married anyone in london to get his papers he will do it and even have baby with the person and I prayed for him on that to but he has refused to let me move on I have tried to tell him countless times I even offered to stop my life here in the states to come join him that what ever he feeds on I will thou until he gets favored by God but he refused too and am confused on what to do know .(note koko house I am not desperate to be married because I was in a marriage before when I met him and I left the first marriage because I discovered the first guy only married me for his papers he had two children and his wife in Nigeria but he lied at first they were divorced but I found out when he was not paying doing his responsibility at home and I kept questioning him he opened up that yes he is still married and he actually married me for his papers and no one can tell him to leave his wife and there is nothing I can do about it that I am his second wife but I refused to be so I left the marriage)

My now hubby knows everything because we were just friends when I was going through all the pains with my ex hubby but my point now is, am so confused on what to do I ve tried to move on with my life but my hubby has refused and it’s not like we communicate like before now it feels like am forcing myself on him I would send a message but if he does not feel like it he won’t reply and here in the states guys are asking me out but my husband does not show me love he might not even call for 7days sometimes and I can’t call because he says he works 14hrs everyday and when I call he says am so tired I need to sleep in a sarcastic way, he now talks to me rudly e.g cutting the Fone on me telling me get out or he would say he is no longer interested but after 7days or more he would call again and he would never say he is sorry all he says his girls ve let him down that now he wants to take care of himself he only wants to care about himself but he has refused I go on my own .

Sister Abefe sorry for the long write up am just in pains .Pls help me post this before I make the wrong move .

Need money to move on

From my inbox….. I need help to leave him

Good day ma, please am not writing so you can post my story but if posting it will be the solution then you can go ahead ma. …. I will be 28yrs old this june , am an OND holder in laspotech surulere campus , now to the main reason for contacting you, I want to run away from my marriage, and I want to take my daughter with me cos I can’t live without her, she is just 1yr 9month, I never knew marriage is Hell on earth, as I am talking to you am having High blood pressure already , any little argument with my so call husband he runs away from home(note: the argument is always because he cheats on me so if I accuse him he bullshit me and leave home for days ) this last one that happened recently, he left his phone in my shop and a lady call I pick the call and bullshit the lady on getting home and accusing him of it he pack his load and leave the house saying he did not want me again, I went to his parents house and also inform his friends about it and my parents too but he switched his 2 phones off I could not sleep and keep calling him till daybreak I apologise and send a lot of messages which I still have the history on my fone , he deleted me from his bbm and block me on his whatsapp.. Please I don’t want to fast or pray about this I just want to relocate with my daughter I don’t want to go into any marriage again buy be a single mom and live a peacefull life, since we got married I have never cheated on him for 1second, please I need your help I want to relocate and have already start working on this and if I want to leave I don’t want to take a single cloth of mine or my daughter with me so so anyone wuld not know about it .. Please I need assistance finacially , I don’t want to die in this , please help me out plssssss , thank you all and God bless you all..

Gone for 7years

From my inbox….. Gone for 7years..

Sister Abefe, my husband left for abroad about six months after our wedding for green pastures and i have not set my eyes on him since he left 7years ago. We do talk over the phone and he send me money and gifts from time to time but I am getting to a point where I am beginning to lose my patience. He told me he’s yet to fully sort his papers out, please how long more do you think I need to wait? Is this what marriage should be about? Please help me, I am confused ….

He’s not hitting the G-spot

From my inbox ……. He’s not hitting the g-spot

Sister Abefe, I have been in my relationship for 2 and a half years and we are thinking of getting married later this year. The problem now is, I dont think I can handle my husband’s to be’s inactive sex life. I have a very high sex drive and I have always been managing myself. We are not living together at the moment so i get to top-up with dildos in which he doesn’t know about and I am now worried that when we get married will i still be able to use the dildo? I am confused and won’t want this to break us in future, please what can I do?

Traditional Wedding

Mature discussion…..

Traditional wedding versus Church/Registry wedding

I know at churches and registry weddings bride and groom will be read out a script that conforms them to the marriage institution and both would say “I Do”

In traditional wedding, I remember my dad just handing over my sisters to their husbands and nothing was said like a decree to make them confirm the institute they are letting themselves into ….

My question is this, how come many believe that traditional weddings supersedes court wedding?

When you don’t have a guidelines how do you know your boundaries?

When you dont have a code of conduct, why won’t you believe you can treat your wife or husband anyhow?

To the women that prefer traditional wedding to court wedding, why complain that your husband is treating you badly?

Did he make the promises in front of everyone, that “in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer ……..” So why want the best of both worlds?

Can someone with Sound KNOWLEDGE of traditional wedding throw more light into this for me please…. Not thinking aloud comments please….