Love DO die

Relationship love do die…

No matter how strong the love and affection someone have for you, if you keep throwing it back in their face or taking it for granted, sooner than later, the love will go sour, sore and will eventually die..

Time to love, time to hate….. Don’t get it twisted that true love dont die, love in relationship context WILL DIE IF IT IS NOT NURTURED AND PAMPERED…. It is called, LETTING GO OF WHO DOESN’T WANT YOU….


The urge to keep wanting you will surely diminish and it will become agape love and not romantic for better for worse love….

Appreciate what you have…..

Street isn’t full of loving people so make what you have work for you before it’s too late


Should i take herbal remedies

From my inbox ….. Should i take the herbal remedies

Hi ma. Compliment of the seasom to you. Ma please i need your advice and opinion on this issue urgently. I am pregnant, and was adviced by my mother imlaw to go register with the herbs man( ALAGBO OMO), i actually accepted after so many persuation, but on getting there my spirit doesnt go along with it, i see it as not safe and unhealthy , on getting home i gave her an excuse that i dont wish to go again, i thought she agreed. Not until months after, she kept reminding me to go there again, now she has reported me to my father inlaw, and now the man said it is a must that i go there.

Ma what can i do. The way i see it, they are kind of scared because its my first child.i dont know what to say or do. Pls reply ma. Thanks and God bless you

Are you ready?

How prepared are you when you say you are ready for a relationship again or ready to make what you have work?

Many times we believe or think we are healed and ready to move on but realistically, we are still subconsciously nursing and feeding pains and fears that are known and of the unknown in which will continue to cause us to remain single, lonely, unhappy and the urge to want to keep on trying something even when we are in a relationship or marriage that only need a little bit of time or communication or truth to revitalize it.

Ask yourself this question, AM I ACTUALLY READY TO GIVE IT MY ALL AGAIN?


Accepting others

From my email……. Word for Today

30 Dec 2014


‘Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.’ Romans 15:7

Sometimes people don’t make it easy to accept them. They can be bad tempered, selfish, critical, irritating, dismissive, aggressive and pompous. Sometimes you want to give them a piece of your mind; give them what they deserve–anything but acceptance.

The command, ‘accept one another’, is inconvenient. And if Paul had stopped there we might dodge the directive by saying he obviously meant good, reasonable, acceptable people. Alas, he goes on, ‘just as Christ accepted you’. Were you good, reasonable and acceptable? No, but He accepted you–flaws and all–and He still does! You say, ‘Somebody has to straighten these people out and require them to act right!’ You mean like Jesus required before He accepted you? Roman Christians had difficulty accepting their less experienced brothers, and Paul corrected them: ‘Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment… for God has accepted him’ (Roman 14:1-3 NIV).


Straightening people out isn’t our department; accepting them is. God calls us to accept messed-up, unspiritual, carnal, obnoxious, doctrinally misled, ‘just plain wrong’ people. You don’t have to approve of, like, or agree with them, but accepting them isn’t optional. There’s no elite, privileged, insider class. We occupy level ground because of two realities: our sin and the cross! Jews and Gentiles despised each other, even after salvation. Each wanted the other to change and become like them. But Paul took the axe to the root of that tree: ‘For Christ Himself… reconciled both groups… by means of His death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death’ (Ephesians 2:14-16 NLT).

Our job is to accept people–and let God adjust them

Make up Transformation…

Make-up Transformation…

I am not a great fan of make-up from my very young age but as I become more and more of a lady, I found out that you need a little bit of make-up to remove the greasiness on face to make it look matt finish.

My concern is towards the make-up artists, why make a reasonable looking bride or lady look like a masquerade? Looking at some wedding and party pictures, it’s so scary to see how different those women look without those heavy make-up…

On my recent visit to house of Fraser to buy a foundation, only one powder/foundation was put on my face and the make -up artist there said, make-up should not cover your natural beauty except you are going for a movie shoot…. Hhhmmmm

I recently saw pictures of ladies that previous day they had on heavy make up, and the next day they posted pictures saying they are natural and beautiful leaving me to question if they truly know the meaning of natural and beautiful after bleached skin…..

My thoughts, please my darling make-up artists especially those jobless ones that suddenly realised that they are now make up artist after watching YouTube videos on how to put make up on instead of them attending beauty school….

Please, reduce the transformation, it doesn’t speak well of us black women in the media internationally, they have tagged us as fake hair, fake button, fake face etc…

Sorry if i have stepped on your nerves, just my observation….

Peace …

New Year Relationship Rules 2

New Year Relationship Rules 2


Reflecting on my life and I can confidently say that anger ruined many of the things that I could have saved in any of the relationships I have had, inclusive of my marriage.

Not that I am that bad when it comes to anger but I tend to loose my self esteem and confidence at the sight of little misunderstandings or problems in my relationship. I strongly believe that this was due to so many underlying factors of my life that I kept on blaming others for when I was suppose to let go of them all and move on.

Anger has cost me thousands of pounds and dollars and millions of naira, in which could have been avoided if I had looked at the bigger picture.

Dating someone that suffers from anger is like you trying to have a foundation for your mansion on top of a sea, how possible is that? Although people that have anger issues are generally the loveliest people in the world especially when it comes to integrity but they tend to lose the trust their spouse has in them after few temperaments that resulted in serious misunderstanding…

So let anger be a rule for you in the new year, if you know that he or she is not ready to work on his or her anger, I will suggest you take your leave. Moses could have gotten to the promised land if not for anger despite all he did, so if you want to get to your cannan land, check out the person you call your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend, how are they dealing with anger.

Dating someone with anger issues doesn’t just go away, they need major counselling and honesty to be able to get to the root of their problem and if they are not ready, believe me, YOU CANNOT HELP THEM….

Yes that lady/guy has helped you in the past to get you to where you are but it doesn’t mean you should endanger your sanity with their foolishness of anger…..

And if you dont deal with your anger, don’t blame it on some spiritual forces that aren’t there. It is a personal choice….

No point in having a lion or cobra as a pet when you already know that they are wild animals, even zoo keepers do get attacked by them so do you want them in your house…. Same rule applies to spouses with anger issues, keep them at arms length, they aren’t worth your time because they will eventually destroy that phone, computer, car, house, beauty etc one day all in the name of you got them angry…..


She’s cheating on me

From my inbox….. She’s seeing someone else

Abefe, this is embarrassing for me as a man to be sharing this but just think I should share it to let ladies in the house know that it’s not only men that cheats .

I met my girlfriend through a friend abroad that connected us together about a year and half ago. I have been back home twice to see her and i believe everything is good between us. The problem now is, I arrived for Christmas only to see traces that my girlfriend is seeing someone else. I confronted her and she blatantly denied it, even the text messages and that.

It is so sad but am sure this is end of the road for me and her. It is painful.

My father in-law sexual passes

From my inbox…. My father in-law

Sister Abefe, I don’t know what to do, my husband’s to be father have been making sexual passes at me each time I visit their family house. My husband to be lives abroad and we are due to get married in March. What do you think I should do because i don’t know if I should tell my fiance or not.

Too good to be….

Is it true or false?

When something or someone is too good or too bad for you to believe or to be true, ask yourself these questions:

1. Have I experienced it myself?

2. Why assume when I can ask questions to clarify things?

3. What is the state of my mind?

4. How genuine am I to myself and those around me?

5. Do I know the true meaning of love?

The answers you give to those questions will tell you if what you are thinking is right or wrong….

Many times, our intuition is telling us our state of mind and not until we build in discerning spirit into our life, we will continue to treat and see things the assumptious way instead of us to think outside the box…

Remember, nothing is impossible….